​ANONYMOUS, CONFIDENTIAL, TEXT OR VOICE
For Teens
If you are under age 18 and are considering telling an adult about your sibling's, or your own, harmful sexual behavior, be aware they may be required to report it to child protection and/or police.
Scroll down to learn more about Mandatory Reporting.
Click on a service below for safe, confidential, anonymous information and guidance, just for teens and young people. They will not report unless you want to.
If these are not available in your country, or you need personal support now and they are not staffed, go to Worldwide Helplines: Get Help Now to find the help you need.
If you are in immediate danger of physical or sexual violence,
call 911 (US & Canada) 112 (UK & EU) 000 (AU), 111 (NZ) or 999
Mandatory Reporting Need-to-Know
If you are under age 18 and you are facing unwanted, abusive, harmful, or confusing sexual behavior, from a sibling or anyone else, you have the right to know that if you share specific information about it with many adults, they will be required by law to make an official report.
Some young people would like to see it reported, others do not want this, others aren't sure yet what they want. Some are afraid they will get in trouble with the law or their family, or that they will get their sibling in trouble. Some are afraid their family might get split up, or that they might be removed from their home. Some are afraid of how their parents would react.
Find Your Location's Laws
on mandatory reporting
Mandatory reporting laws were put in place to stop child abuse. They require adults who work with children to call a child abuse hotline if they have any reason to think a child might have been harmed in any way. In some places, , every adult is required to report suspected child abuse. Either by law or by the school's or clinic's policy, almost all school staff (even the custodian), coaches, therapists, physicians, and youth workers must report if they know or suspect any sexual abuse of a young person. Adults have to follow these laws until the day you turn 18. This includes reporting any sexual activity that seems suspicious or possibly inappropriate. It includes past, present, or ongoing sexual activity. It is possible your parents would have to make a report, or think they have to report, or decide to make a police report anyway.
What Happens After Someone Reports?
The laws and processes are different in different places, but the process below is typical of most places in the US, UK, and Canada. (Australia is quite different; contact Stop It Now Australia to find out more.)​
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Someone from law enforcement (police, sheriff, etc), or from a child protection agency, will want to talk to you and hear the basics of what happened.
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Your parents and/or legal guardians will be notified, and the people who are investigating will want to talk to them.
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At some point, you will be asked to come and give a full interview. This usually happens in a special place and would be one-on-one with a person who is specifically trained to interview young people who have had traumatic sexual experiences. The interview would be recorded to use as evidence for criminal or child protection legal processes. You do not have to answer any question that you don't want to. It's fine to take your time and think about your answers. If you want to bring a comforting item or pet along, let the investigators or your parents know.
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If you and your sibling are still living in the same home, your parents may be required to make changes in room arrangements of your home, security for doors and electronic devices, and rules that everyone must follow.
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You and your sibling may be required to live in a different locations, and not be able to have contact with each other. This could be either short-term or permanent. Usually the sibling who was at fault is the one who has to move.
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You should be offered mental health services or therapy, or perhaps a support group. You might have to wait for a spot to open up before you can start.
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More information about reporting: Should I Report?
FAQs
What will happen to my sibling--or to me, if I'm the one at fault?
Your sibling will probably also be asked to talk to authorities. If police or doctors think you or your sibling is a danger to themselves or others, they could take them into custody, either to a facility for young people, or to a hospital, or to jail, depending on their age and reason for concern. Whether or not your sibling (or you) face criminal charges, or has to go to jail or a treatment facility, or has to register as a sex offender is up to the legal system. It depends on many factors, including what they did, their age then, their age now, where it happened. The authorities might ask you what you want to happen to your sibling, but they don't always, and they don't have to.
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Can I just report it myself?
Yes. You can contact police or your location's child abuse hotline yourself. Or, you can contact your local sexual assault crisis center, and they can find an advocate to be with you while you report it, and follow up with you. You can also find a friend, parent, or other trusted adult, tell them first, and have them make the report with you. In the UK, you can also make a report online. You can report what happened, even if it stopped a long time ago.
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What if I want to talk to someone about stuff that happened when I was little, but it's not happening any more? Will they still have to report it?
Usually yes, especially if you are still under the age of 18 (but possibly even if you are 18 or over). It depends somewhat on who the person is, what you tell them, and where you live. You can contact one of the helplines below to find out more.
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What if a friend told me that their sibling is doing sexual things with them, and told me not to tell anyone?
This is not a secret that a true friend should keep, for any long amount of time. If your friend isn't in immediate danger, t's OK to think about it for a day or two, work with them to come up with ideas or find out what help is available in your area. You can encourage your friend to contact one of the helplines at the top of this page (WhatsOK, Shore, or RAINN, or another sexual assault crisis line) or do it together with them. You can also offer to make an appointment and/or go along with your friend to a sexual assault crisis center to talk to an advocate there. If you think your friend is in danger, you might need to call your local emergency number to come and help them. More information on how to help a friend who has experienced sexual abuse or assault at #MyFriendToo by Protect Children
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If I'm a boy, will they believe me? Even if my sister was the one who abused me?
If you encounter anyone who doesn't believe you or take your concerns seriously, tell someone else, or make a report yourself. Investigators should be trained to know that sexual assault and abuse happens to people of any gender. But not every adult knows this or knows how to respond when it happens to boys or men. If you are concerned about how to handle this, contact one of the youth helplines at the top, or contact 1in6.org, an organization that is specifically for men who have experienced sexual abuse or assault.
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What if I did tell an adult, or if they did an investigation, and it didn't make any difference? What can I do now?
You can make a report yourself, or report again if someone did already. Include anything more that might have happened, or anything more you have remembered that you didn't tell before. You can tell your parents you need more protection or more help, if you feel they are supportive. For more specific advice, contact one of the helplines listed below or your local sexual assault crisis center.
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Is there any way I can get help, without someone making a report?
You can get emotional support from a therapist or from a trusted adult without telling them the specifics of what is going on. They can't report what they don't know. You could get advice by saying that "a friend" is going through this. Or you can contact the anonymous helplines below and work through your situation with them. (Be advised that WhatsOK and Shore have live staff only during afternoons/evenings on weekdays.) If you are getting close to your 18th birthday, you could start now on finding a therapist that you like and trust, and wait until after your 18th birthday to bring up the subject of your sexual abuse experiences or questions.​​​
Find a Sexual Assault Crisis Center: USA Directory International Listing
Additional Information
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RAINN: Something Happened to Me guidance directed at those age 12-18
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The Investigators description of who does what after a report of child sexual abuse | Lauren's Kids, Florida, US
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Should I Report? considerations for survivors of any age
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Criminal Legal System Basics: USA, International
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WhatsOK: I Don't Want My Parents to Know Why I Want to Talk to a Therapist
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Book: How Long Does It Hurt?: A Guide to Recovering from Incest and Sexual Abuse for Teenagers, Their Friends, and Their Families​
From Survivors, To Survivors
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Brooke, age 16: Finding My Voice to Bring Forth Change
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Phil Goldstein: Forgiving My Younger Self for Staying Silent
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​Alice Perle: Stop Downplaying What It Was
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Maria Socolof: It's NOT Your Fault
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Pei's Story: I'm Not in a Shadow All By Myself
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Poppy's Story, age 18
Self Help Healing Tools
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Sharing Your Story includes options to describe your experiences and feelings anonymously
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​SARSAS Self-Help Guides: downloadable
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Trauma Recovery 101 video series by SSA Survivor Nubia Duvall Wilson & trauma recovery coach Monika Hendrix
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Brinn Langdale, LMFT, is an SSA Survivor with a mission to help young survivors heal. Below is one in her series of self-help videos. Follow Brinn on IG @brinn_langdale for a variety of mental health and healing tips