It’s a question that many people who have crossed another person’s sexual boundaries have asked themselves.  It may be your greatest fear.  You might have already had someone else call you a monster.  

 

Answer: You are not a monster.

 

How can someone who doesn’t know me be so sure?

• You came to this site.  

• You are aware that what you did was wrong.

• You care about the harm you have caused.

• You feel remorse--you know this is not who you want to be.

• You are looking for help. Start here to find it.

 

You are more than the worst thing you have ever done.

 

You are a full human.  

• You can make choices

• You are responsible for your actions--past, present, and future

• You deserve respect

• You deserve support

• You deserve to be safe

• You deserve healthy human relationships

 

If you are bothered by something you did when you were younger and do not continue in the present, remember:

• You are not the person you were

• You have grown and matured

• You have shown your ability to make better choices

• You can still act to take responsibility for what you did in the past

 

If you’re worried about your current behavior, thoughts, or online habits, 

• You do not have to face this alone 

• There are steps you can take right now 

• There is treatment available 

• You can ask for help

 

Harmful sexual behavior is just that: behavior. It is not your identity or your worth or your fate.

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WhatsOK.org blog answers Max: I hurt someone sexually.  Am I a monster?

WhatsOK.org blog answers a 14 year old: I was abused but now I'm afraid I'm abusing other kids.

Watch the Stop It Now! Webinar: Am I an abuser because of my sexual behaviors as a kid?

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If you’re not sure whether you should be concerned: 

• Take The Quiz that Only You Can Answer

• Contact WhatsOK.org (US-based)

• Contact Shorespace.org.uk (UK-based)